Internet and computer jokes.

Funny jokes about IT
A conversation by a representative of a personnel search company and a candidate:
– So, Mr. Abha, you say that you are a software engineer. Do you know Microsoft Office?
– If you give me the address, I will go there, Sir.

Jokes about IT – Active life
I was once living very actively – playing football, tennis, participating into car races. Sometimes I would play poker and pool. But later somebody stole my PC and that was it…

Jokes about IT – Forum’s rules
Internet forum rules:
1. Come
2. Ask something
3. Get banned
4. Go & Google it

Funny jokes about IT – A programmer goes to a shop
A wife sends her husband – an IT programmer – to the shop to buy a sausage.
– If there will be brown eggs, take 10.
A programmer goes to the shop and asks the seller:
– Do you have brown eggs?
– Yes we do.
– Then give me 10 sausages.

Funny jokes about IT – Life
– You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts…
– Man, and do you have life?
– OMG, No! Could you send me a link?

Funny jokes about IT – In the toilet 
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife :
– Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!!
– What happened, did you run out of toilet paper?
– No, restart the router, please!

Funny jokes about IT – sms (text) messages
Every mobile phone user has complained like this:
Don’t text me while I’m in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.

Funny jokes about IT – Google facts
Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected.

Funny jokes about IT – Broke my heart
A guy tells his friends:
– The girl I was dating broke my heart, so I broke her Apple iPhone 5. You all know who cried more

Jokes about IT – Frozen windows
A wife sent her husband an SMS on a cold winter evening: “Windows frozen”.
The husband sent an answer back: “Pour some warm water over them”.
Sometime later husband receives the answer from his wife: “The computer is completely fucked now”.

Jokes about IT – Keyboard
Keyboard not found…
Press ENTER to continue…

Jokes about IT – Password
Man and wife together is setting a new password on their computer.
Man enters “My_penis” and his wife fall on the floor laughing out loudly after computer answers: “Too short…”

Jokes about IT – Tetris
Computer specialist is walking down the street when suddenly the brick fall down on his head.
– Stupid Tetris!- thinks computer specialist before losing consciousness.

Jokes about IT – Beautiful girl
Talking two computer specialists:
– What do you do when you see a beautiful girl? – Asks the first one.
– I download her.

Jokes about IT – Vodka and IT
Capacity of vodka in IT style:
0.10 l – demo version;
0.25 l – trial version;
0.50 l – personal edition;
0.70 l – professional edition;
1.00 l – network edition;
1.75 l – enterprise;
3.00 l – for small business;
5.00 l – corporate edition;
Bucket of vodka – extreme edition;
Sea of vodka – global edition;
Homemade vodka – home edition;
“One more” – Service pack;
Kefir in the morning – Recovery tool;
Appetizer – plugins;
Beer – patch;
Coca-cola, fanta, 7-UP – trojan viruses.

Jokes about IT – IT specialist
Who is IT specialist?
The person who solves a problem you didn’t know you had and in a way you don’t understand.

Jokes about IT – Samsung computers
Sales representative of Samsung computer department tries to persuade an officer of a Russian city municipality to purchase computers:
– Don’t worry, computers will never substitute officers: no company has yet created a machine that would do nothing.

Jokes about IT – Price drop

At the computer shop the staff is changing laptops prices from 4000$ to 2000$.
A man passes through and asks:
– Tell me, why they are getting so much cheaper?
– Because Christmas sales are over!

Jokes about IT – Empty
You don‘t truly know your car until you know exactly how far you can go after the gas gauge needle passes the E (Empty).

Jokes about IT – A command

A guy prepares to demonstrate voice control of a computer.
– Silence, please, I will now demonstrate how easy voice control works.
A man from the back of the room:
– Format: C. Enter.

Jokes about IT – Query
– What a freaky query – through the database and stopped working.

Jokes about IT – Operating system
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider:
– I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now.
– I see, do you know what’s the operating system on your PC?
– Of course, I do – it’s Facebook…

Credit to Funny

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